This is the sixth leg of the "Amazing Race" and any hint of first place advantage disappears as, once again, everyone will be getting on the same flight out. Everyone seems happy to be getting out of Bangladesh, where the heat has taken a toll.
"Next time your Samsung 52-inch starts to go fuzzy, don't bitch about it," the dating divorcees say. Mmkay.
The Sri Lankan twins do a little trash talking, the monster truckers revel in their cockiness, and everyone congregates at Galaxy Travel to book flights. Alas, someone has dropped their money -- a wad of $100 that's supposed to cover cab fares and incidentals for this leg of the race. Lexi and the twins decide to keep the cash and they scamper off. Meanwhile the rockers discover their money has disappeared. They head off to try and beg for help. A Bangladeshi woman comes over and offers cash, other locals help too, explaining that the rockers are in their country and are therefore "our guests." Aww, sweet.
Once in Istanbul, Turkey, most of the teams head off by cab, but the Chippendales and monster truckers take the substantially slower metro to the Kabatas ferry terminal, where they are supposed to take a ferry across the Bosphorus strait back to Asia. The Chippendales decide that's a bad idea, and they jump off the metro to grab a cab, a move that wins derision from the monster truckers who claim that's the move of a follower, not a leader. Ahem. That's called grabbing sixth place, instead of seventh.
Meanwhile, the rockers arrive at their destination and grab a cab to Misir Carsisi -- the spice bazaar -- where they look for shop No. 14. It's detour time and they face a choice of two traditions dating back to the Ottoman Empire.
Detour: Simit it or scrub it
The choices include transporting simit -- a bagel-like roll -- to three bakeries, or indulging in a Turkish bath, "where they'll be cleansed like never before." Ooo, kinky.
Lexi and Tex opt for the Turkish bath. So do the Sri Lankan twins,
But the Beekman Boys must first complete their extra task which is to ... oh puh-leeze. Seriously? Have two scoops of Turkish ice cream? Do they have to hug a teddy bear too? And say, "Have a nice day"? This "task" may well rank as the lamest one ever. Naturally, the Beekman Boys have trouble even finding a Turkish ice cream stand. The scooper turns out to be a juggling clown. "This is a good speed bump," they say, licking ice cream. Good gawd.
Except. They ate the ice cream at the wrong stand. How are these people still in the race. They finally eat the correct ice cream and head off to carry bagels, Brent whining as usual. For heavens sake, man, your punishment was eating ice cream. Stop bellyaching.
Meanwhile at the Turkish baths, the rockers, divorcees, Texans and twins are getting scrubbed, slapped and slathered.
Road block: Soda jerks
The next stop is the Kapali Carsi, or Grand Bazaar, where one member of each team must dress up in costume and serve up Turkish sherbet, serving 40 glasses of this soda-like refreshment. Ooh, fezzes! And the soda-pouring device is this really cool brass thing with jingly things. Abba, Ryan and Lexi start pouring. The bazaar is awesome -- we're experiencing serious lamp envy. Abba may be too mellow for this. Natalie the twin is haranguing passer-by half to death, while Lexi is using all her cheerleader skills. James and Jaymes continue to impress with their irrepressible good cheer, although that good cheer falters when James spots the final teams arriving.
"Oh no," he says. "You see Monster Truck and Beekman Boys, you know you're at the back of the pack. You know you're fightin' for last.
Lexi and Trey are the first to head off to the Savarona, a yacht -- and the pit stop for this leg of the race.
The Texans are the first to the mat, a feat that includes a nice prize, a trip for two to Australia. The divorcees are team two, followed by the rockers in third. The twins are fourth, telling each other there will be "no more nice twinnie anymore." Um, that isn't how we'd have characterized them. The Chippendales come in fifth.
Meanwhile, the Beekmans have decided their best way to get through a traffic jam is to get out of their cab and attempt to direct traffic. Seriously. Apparently it works well enough for them to grab sixth place. Monster truckers Rob and Kelly are out.
Next week: Red padlocks, lost luggage and Moscow's glorious domes.