Ha ha! I am just joshing, of course.
But let me tell you something in all seriousness.
If you believe, as I do, that it's a good idea to have a little something special around the house, to elevate the spirits in those emergency situations caused by politics or other modern tribulations, you definitely want that "little something special" to be of the very highest quality.
And that's why tomorrow is one of the most important days of the year.
It's the first day of the annual sale of Rancho de Philo Triple Cream Sherry at the winery in Alta Loma. The legendary libation is available only one week each year and only at the winery. This year's event is 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily Nov. 10-18 or until supplies run out (and sometimes that happens during the first weekend).
Honestly, pour a little of this heady elixir into a nice glass, then savor it slowly, perhaps with a handful of sugared walnuts or a bit of cheese and fruit. Soon, your post-Election Day blues will be behind you!
Rancho de Philo Triple Cream Sherry, one of the treasures of the Inland Empire, is revered around the world. Last year's bottling won a "Best of Show" Gold Medal in the U.S. National Wine Competition and four other gold medals in other contests around the country.
This year's bottling is sure to win similar awards. And, remember, it's available only one week per year, starting at 9 a.m. tomorrow, and only at the winery where it is made. The price is $26.95 per bottle.
Rancho de Philo Winery is at 10050 Wilson Ave., Alta Loma. Directions: From the 210 Freeway in Rancho Cucamonga, take Haven Avenue north, then Wilson Avenue west to the winery. Call 909-987-4208.
And, while you are out wine shopping, remember that there are other wineries nearby, where you will find excellent Inland Empire wines for your holiday feasting and gift giving.
Galleano Winery in Mira Loma, for example, is a fantastic place to visit. It's like a trip back in time to Old California. It's listed on the National Register of Historic Places.
Try Galleano Winery's Cucamonga Valley Zinfandel ($6.25). It's the everyday wine of choice for Don Galleano himself, the winery's third-generation owner. If it's good enough for him, it's definitely good enough for me, and I'm pretty sure that you will like it, too.
Galleano also is famous for its port, sherry and dessert wines. The winery's Ancient Angelica ($33), for example, was a 2010 winner of "Best of Class" Gold Medal awards at both the Pacific Rim Wine Competition and the Los Angeles County Fair Wine Competition.
Galleano Winery is at 4231 Wineville Road, Mira Loma. Hours are 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily. Directions: Take the Etiwanda Avenue exit south from either the 10 or 60 freeways, turn west on Riverside Drive, then south on Wineville Road for one-half mile to the winery. Or take the Cantu-Galleano Ranch Road exit east from the 15 Freeway, just south of the 60, and turn north on Wineville Road. Contact: 951-685-5376, galleanowinery.com.
Also, don't miss Joseph Filippi Winery in Rancho Cucamonga. It has a terrific tasting room and gift shop. Try the 2008 Five Estates Red Wine ($19.95), a luscious blend of five varieties of Cucamonga Valley grapes.
The winery is at 12467 Base Line, Rancho Cucamonga. Hours are noon to 5 p.m. Monday, noon to 6 p.m. Tuesday-Thursday, 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Friday-Saturday, noon to 6 p.m. Sunday. Directions: The winery is on the south side of Base Line between Etiwanda Avenue and Day Creek Boulevard, north of Victoria Gardens. Contact: 909-899-5755, josephfilippiwinery.com.
The historic San Antonio Winery of Los Angeles has an attractive tasting room and gift shop in the Inland Empire. It's just minutes from Galleano and not far from Filippi, so it's easy to include it on your Cucamonga Valley wine tour itinerary.
San Antonio Winery Wine Store is at 2802 S. Milliken Ave., Ontario. Hours are 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. daily. Directions: It's on the west side of Milliken Avenue just south of the 60 Freeway. Contact: 909-947-3995, sanantoniowinery.com.
I always am happy to point out, preferably over a glass of wine, that our Cucamonga Valley is California's oldest wine country, dating back to 1838. At its peak, during the 1940s, the region boasted 60 wineries and 45,000 acres of planted grapes, which at the time was more than Napa Valley and Sonoma Valley combined. The 4,000-acre Italian Vineyard Co. (later Brookside Winery) in Guasti was for awhile the world's largest winemaking operation.
Fall was a special time of year in the old wine district. The vineyards were picked, the vats were filled and the region's pioneer wine families celebrated the harvest with parties that lasted for days.
Today, only a vestige of the Cucamonga Valley wine country remains, but fall is still a special time of year here, and visitors can find wonderful locally made wines to give for the holidays or to enjoy for themselves.