DEAR AMY: How much affection between a father and daughter is considered socially acceptable?

My husband, "Ed," always kisses his 22-year-old daughter (my stepdaughter, "Alice") smack on the lips. They both initiate this type of kiss, which is only a second or two long. This is usually accompanied by a quick hug. I don't have a problem with the hug.

This type of kiss is done to say "hello," "goodbye," and "thank you." They have done this for as long as I've known them — eight years.

On Ed's birthday, after opening his cards and gifts he exclaimed, "Thank you both!" and kissed his daughter on the lips. Then he kissed me the same way!

While I'm not at all concerned about any "foul play" between them, I do think that kissing on the lips is inappropriate for a father and daughter. I think that a warm hug and kiss on the cheek is acceptable and appropriate.

Ed also calls his daughter "sweetheart" and "honey."

I don't want to come off sounding like the jealous spouse; I simply believe there are some things that should be reserved for spouses.

What is your opinion? — Third-Wheel Spouse

Dear Third Wheel: You do sound like a jealous spouse. You even call yourself a "third wheel," which reveals how you see yourself whenever your stepdaughter is around.

A glancing kiss on the lips and affectionate nicknames and endearments between a father and daughter seem

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normal to me, certainly between a parent and child who don't see one another constantly.

It is also normal for you to feel some displacement when your husband is around his daughter, but if you are being excluded, you should ask your husband to be more conscious of how this makes you feel.

There are many expressions and activities that should be reserved for spouses only, but a quick kiss and the terms "sweetie" and "honey" are not among them.

Dear Amy: Regarding the brouhaha over a dog named after a son, I named my son after my dog.

Joe was a great dachshund, beloved by everybody in the neighborhood (even now my eyes are watering a bit).

He died in 1975, and my son was born in 1987. I had always liked the name; so, when my son arrived, I gave him the same name. — Victor

Dear Victor: Now I have a confession — 20 years ago, I came within a whisker of naming my daughter after our family's favorite cat.

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