Lindsay Lohan's new lawyer has submitted documents to Los Angeles Superior Court saying Lohan is too ill to appear at her scheduled hearing on Wednesday.
This should really go over well with the judge once she sees photos TMZ published Tuesday of Lohan on an all-day shopping spree in New York City's SoHo district on Saturday, the same day a doctor allegedly examined her.
Lohan's new lawyer, Mark Heller, submitted documents notifying the Judge Stephanie Sautner the actress is too ill to fly. Heller offered a note from a Park Avenue doctor who supposedly said Lohan has an upper respiratory infection and can't fly for her own safety, as well as the safety of the public.
Well, he's got that last part right. Wherever Lohan goes, she's a threat to public safety.
Heller also submitted a Jan. 11 article from the New York Post, reporting that a flu epidemic has hit New York City.
Somewhere, Shawn Holley -- the lawyer who was fired by Lohan, then rehired, and who finally quit -- is laughing hysterically.
What's really funny is that the judge hasn't even approved Heller -- a New York lawyer -- to appear in a California court on Lohan's behalf. Heller isn't licensed to practice law in California, though he's supposedly getting another lawyer to sponsor him, which would allow him to represent Lohan.
Why someone isn't making truckloads of money doing a Lindsay Lohan reality show is one of the universe's great mysteries.