Journey guitarist Neal Schon is suing his former mother-in-law for defamation for saying bad things about him on the Internet.
Wait -- I thought that's why they made the Internet.
According to TMZ, Schon sued Judy Kozan, the mother of Amber Schon -- whom Schon divorced in 2007 -- saying Kozan "attacked and harassed" him through Internet postings and false comments to the media for years.
According to the lawsuit, Kozan wrote a blog post in January, accusing Schon of not giving her daughter enough money to support herself and letting their two little girls "go homeless," putting his ex "in a situation where she literally has no money for food, gas for the car, bills, nothing."
Schon said he actually paid her more than $1.3 million, and Kozan's claims have tarnished his reputation, resulting in multiple media outlets accusing him of being a deadbeat dad. TMZ said Schon is suing for at least $75,000.
Apparently Kozan has since removed the blog post in question and replaced it with one that sounds like a retraction, in which she says the "deadbeat dad" reports are false.
TIGER AND LINDSEY GO PUBLIC: Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn confirmed Monday what we already knew.
That's right -- these two are "working out" together.
They decided to go public on Twitter and Facebook, where all human information and interaction flows. They also released some sort of weird couples photo, like something newlyweds would take at a company picnic.
Woods wrote: "Something nice that's happened off the course was meeting Lindsey Vonn. Lindsey and I have been friends for some time, but over the last few months we have become very close and are now dating."
Vonn wrote, "I guess it wasn't a well-kept secret but yes, I am dating Tiger Woods. Our relationship evolved from a friendship into something more over these past few months and it has made me very happy."
Wait until he comes home smelling like a strip club.
Both wrote about wanting to preserve their privacy, which is about as likely as Lindsay Lohan winning an Oscar next year.
Rumors of their relationship started swirling early last month when Woods sent his private jet to fly Vonn home to Vail, Colo., after the 28-year-old skier wiped out at the Alpine World Championships in Austria, leaving her with torn ligaments in her right knee and a fractured shin.
"Tiger and Lindsey have been friends for a while, and nothing started out romantically at all," a source close to Woods told People.com. "But they really have a lot in common and got closer and closer."
You mean they BOTH like strippers?
Woods -- who you may or may not know plays golf -- made headlines in 2009 by being linked to dozens of women while still married to Elin Nordegren. Their divorce became final in August 2010. Vonn is the most decorated skier in U.S. history. She announced her split from husband of four years, Thomas Vonn, in November 2011.
EMMA WATSON SCOFFS AT '50 SHADES OF GREY': Emma Watson will not be in the "Fifty Shades of Grey" film.
Thank God. No one wants to see a 12-year-old having sexy time.
Well, she seems like she's still 12. The actress, known for playing Hermione Granger in the "Harry Potter" movies has made it clear -- again -- she won't have a part of the by E.L. James story, sometimes referred to as "mommy porn."
"Who here actually thinks I would do 50 Shades of Grey as a movie?" Watson tweeted. "Like really. For real. In real life. Good. Well that's sorted then," she added.
Rumors about Watson's involvement began shortly after the film adaptation was given a green light last summer. She has poo-poohed the rumors in the past but that hasn't stopped them from rampaging over the internet. Other actresses rumored to be considered for the lead include Mila Kunis, Nina Dobrev, Shailene Woodley and Emma Roberts, according to the New York Post.
Though many details about the upcoming adaptation of the bestselling book have not yet been released, pre-production, led by producing team Dana Brunetti and Michael De Luca, and screenwriter Kelly Marcel, has already begun.
MICHELE SHOCKED USES ANTI-GAY SLUR: Well, her name is Shocked. And she did.
Michelle Shocked told an audience at Yoshi's in San Francisco on Sunday night that "God hates (pejorative used to describe homosexuals)" and that she lives in fear of same-sex marriage.
She apparently was serious. And, as one can imagine, that didn't play well in San Francisco.
She also reportedly said "I live in fear that the world will be destroyed if gays are allowed to marry."
According to sfist.com, many in the audience left the show. Later, Shocked supposedly wrote on Twitter "You can go on Twitter and say 'Michelle Shocked says God hates (pejorative).'"
After years of being considered a progressive-leaning indie rocker -- who once identified herself as bisexual -- Shocked has become a born-again Christian in recent years, joining the Pentecostal West Angeles Church of God in Christ in Los Angeles.
On Monday, the HopMonk Tavern in Novato canceled Shocked's March 29 show there, citing her comments at Yoshi's, as did S.P.A.C.E., a club outside of Chicago. Bill Welch of Moe's Alley in Santa Cruz said he is waiting to speak to Shocked before deciding whether or not to go ahead with its scheduled March 28 show, according to the Santa Cruz Sentinel.
According to sfist, Shocked, whose real name is Karen Johnston, was born to a Mormon mother. In a 2005 interview with New York magazine, she discussed her religion, alcoholism, failed marriage, and her "political" decision at age 22 to have her tubes tied, which she later regretted after multiple failed attempts at in-vitro fertilization. She said her original decision was motivated by her desire never to be tempted to have an abortion.
"I knew there was going to come a time in my life where I would want to speak vehemently about a woman's right to choose without having it turned back on me, saying you're acting out of guilt and shame because you had an abortion. I made the ultimate sacrifice."
LINDSAY LOHAN ESCAPES JAIL: Lindsay Lohan is kind of like Harry Houdini -- only better.
Lohan made an 11th-hour deal with prosecutors and narrowly avoided jail Monday, agreeing to spend 90 days in lockdown rehab, according to TMZ.
That sounds serious ... like maybe they don't have a miniature golf course or something.
After much haggling and conferring (that's legal talk), Lohan pleaded no contest to reckless driving and lying to police. Additionally, she is required to perform 30 days of community service and undergo psychotherapy for 18 months. She'll get credit for therapy time already served.
Lohan will be able to do her rehab in New York City, where she supposedly lives. She also has to submit to drug testing.
Wait ... drug testing? Did they explain that to her?
TMZ said Lohan admitted to a probation violation related to her jewelry theft and was technically sentenced to 180 days in jail, but the sentence was stayed, meaning she skates if she doesn't get into any trouble.
I give her three days.
Just because she's Lindsay Lohan, she showed up 48 minutes late for court on Monday because, of course, she didn't get on a plane until late Sunday in New York and, at the last minute, decided the commercial flight wasn't safe and got off the plane, opting for a private plane instead. She landed in Los Angeles less than an hour before she was due in court.
RYAN SEACREST AND JULIANNE HOUGH SPLIT: Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough have split up.
After more than two years together, the "American Idol" host and "Safe Haven" actress no longer live together, sources told E! News.
So that's why she's been calling me.
Insiders say the former couple's busy work schedules proved to be too much, but they are still in regular contact and remain friends.
Sure they are.
Hough isn't exactly sitting at home, crying and stuffing her face with chocolate. TMZ had pictures of the actress hanging out at the Roosevelt Hotel in Hollywood with her brother Derek and former "Dancing with the Stars" buddy Maksim Chmerkovskiy. She was also smoking, which is something she likely wouldn't have done with healthy, neat-freak Seacrest, according to TMZ.
MARCH 19 IN HISTORY
Tuesday is March 19, the 78th day of 2013. There are 287 days left in the year.
1687: French explorer Rene-Robert Cavelier, Sieur de La Salle -- the first European to navigate the length of the Mississippi River -- was murdered by mutineers in present-day Texas.
1863: The Confederate cruiser Georgianna, on its maiden voyage, was scuttled off Charleston, S.C., to prevent it from falling into Union hands.
1918: Congress approved Daylight-Saving Time.
1920: The Senate rejected, for a second time, the Treaty of Versailles by a vote of 49 in favor, 35 against, falling short of the two-thirds majority needed for approval.
1931: Nevada Gov. Fred B. Balzar signed a measure legalizing casino gambling.
1943: Gangster Frank Nitti, leader of Al Capone's Chicago Outfit, shot himself to death in a railroad yard.
1945: A Japanese dive bomber attacked the carrier USS Franklin off Japan. The ship was saved, but 724 people were killed.. Adolf Hitler issued his so-called "Nero Decree," ordering the destruction of German facilities that could fall into Allied hands.
1953: The Academy Awards ceremony was televised for the first time; "The Greatest Show on Earth" was named best picture of 1952.
1962: Bob Dylan's first album, titled "Bob Dylan," was released by Columbia Records.
1965: The wreck of the Confederate cruiser Georgianna was discovered by E. Lee Spence, 102 years to the day after it had been scuttled.
1979: The U.S. House of Representatives began televising its day-to-day business.
1993: Supreme Court Justice Byron R. White announced plans to retire. (White's departure paved the way for Ruth Bader Ginsburg to become the court's second female justice.)
2003: President George W. Bush ordered the start of war against Iraq. (Because of the time difference, it was early March 20 in Iraq.) Tobacco farmer Dwight Ware Watson, who claimed to be carrying bombs in a tractor and trailer that he'd driven into a pond on Washington's National Mall, surrendered after disrupting traffic for two days; there were no explosives.
2008: Five years after launching the invasion of Iraq, President George W. Bush strongly signaled he wouldn't order troop withdrawals beyond those already planned because he refused to "jeopardize the hard-fought gains" of the past year. In a new audio message, Osama bin Laden criticized the publication of drawings insulting to the Prophet Muhammad and warned Europeans of a strong reaction to come. Death claimed science fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke at age 90.
2012: A motorbike assailant opened fire with two handguns in front of a Jewish school in the southern French city of Toulouse, killing a rabbi, his two young sons and a girl. (The gunman, French-born Mohammed Merah, was killed in a gunfight with police after a 32-hour standoff at his apartment; he had also killed three French paratroopers.) The federal Justice Department announced it had begun an investigation into the fatal shooting death of 17-year-old Trayvon Martin in Florida by a neighborhood watch captain, George Zimmerman.
Former White House national security adviser Brent Scowcroft (88), jazz musician Ornette Coleman (83), actress Ursula Andress (77), singer Ruth Pointer (The Pointer Sisters) (67), actress Glenn Close (66), film producer Harvey Weinstein (61), actor Bruce Willis (58), rock musician Zach Lind (Jimmy Eat World) (37), actress Abby Brammell (34), actor Philip Bolden (18).