Fluffing and folding the news

Death Lite

A South Chicago Heights, Ill., man loves his Pabst Blue Ribbon beer so much, he's purchased a coffin painted to look exactly like a pop-top. As he has no immediate need for the coffin, he's using it as a novelty prop at parties, filling it with ice and Pabst.

We can't say much for his taste in beverages, but we salute his ingenuity and single-mindedness. And we are inspired. We are on the hunt for a life-size, er, death-size box of Godiva chocolates.

Yum, polymers

A British company has raised about $20 million to produce and market chewing gum, developed from research at the University of Bristol, that won't stick to the bottom of your shoe.

Gum on the market is made with synthetic latex, but the new "Clean Gum" has special polymers that make it less sticky.

We think it's best they don't stress that point when they start promoting it. We suspect few of us want to know our gum choice is between latex and polymers.

Smile, idiot

It's been a while since we've featured a stupid crook, but this guy practically begged us to mock him. He got busted after allegedly robbing two women coming out of a tavern in Bensalem, Pa.

What makes him the temporary king of the stupid is that the women not only recognized him from an earlier

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incident in the bar, but they also had pictures of him. He had tried to join in on the bachelorette party and had jumped in front of the camera in the mistaken belief that women just adore that sort of behavior.

All the police had to do was print out the pictures and stroll around the neighborhood until they spotted him, which now that we think of it, was very accommodating of him. The police didn't even have to spring for a mug shot.

— Joan Morris

Spin Cycle is a random column that takes a quirky view of the daily news and everyday happenings. Send comments to Joan Morris at jmorris@bayareanewsgroup.com.