Click photo to enlarge
San Francisco Giants pitcher Barry Zito sits in the dugout after being pulled after five innings of work against the Pittsburgh Pirates in a baseball game in Pittsburgh, Wednesday, May 7, 2008. The Pirates won 3-1; Zito took the loss.
Links
THANK GOODNESS the Barry Zito Reality Show was back on the air Wednesday. Order up 13 more crazy episodes, please!

Zito never fails to entertain: After a nine-day hiatus that only heightened the intrigue, Zito pitched plenty well enough to maintain his spot in the rotation and suggest potentially brighter days.

He never fails to fail: Zito was back starting for the Giants and back to losing again, this time by a 3-1 score in Pittsburgh to drop his record to 0-7.

So thank goodness, Zito will pitch again Monday, with 0-8 looming large, and we'll be watching. Zito's an event now. He's a happening above and beyond the Giants' daily skirmishing.

He's a wide-eyed, slurp-throwing, head-scratching piece of Pitching Mound Theater.

You don't tune in to a Zito start to see if he'll win, because that never happens anymore, not on this reality show.

You tune in to see how he loses, how the Giants absorb and explain the losing, how heavily his $126 million contract weighs on everybody (only about $110 million left to burn off!), and how much deeper he plunges into the chasm.

You tune in because you're addicted to the outlandish performances and squirmy results. You can't help yourself. And you have to play the parlor game: What's does this game mean for the future of No. 75?

Did the time off clear his mind for Wednesday's start? Possibly. His curveball and changeup looked much better against the Pirates, enough to rack up a season-high five strikeouts in five

Advertisement
innings. (Two strikeouts were umpire gifts, but oh well.)

On Wednesday, the Giants couldn't have set this up any more carefully, which is what shaky franchises do when handling multi-millionaires who lose their first six starts of the season after flopping the previous season.

Zito last started and lost on April 27. He never entered a game during his "bullpen time."

And then he was plopped back into the rotation on the road (to prevent home heckling), against the mediocre Pirates (to avoid unnecessary battering) and just in time to make sure he misses the powerful Philadelphia Phillies this weekend at AT&T Park.

Zito gave up a two-run home run in the fourth inning to Xavier Nady right after Jason Bay belted a double to the wall. But otherwise, Zito wasn't horrible. Trailing 2-0 in the top of the sixth, he was lifted for a pinch-hitter, having thrown 99 pitches.

Maybe he gets confidence out of this. For a little while.

But what happens when Zito has to go back to the regular four days' rest? Good question. Wednesday's outing lowered his earned-run average to 6.95 and, with his 85-mph fastball, I think it might stay around there for a while.

Five innings, five hits, two runs, five strikeouts, with two innings ended on line-shot double-plays ... is that the new top end for the Giants' Opening Day starter? On TV, Mike Krukow insisted that this was a big positive sign and Zito's best start of the season. Krukow was right and yet ... yeesh.

And here's the true jackpot question: With the Giants' current state of offense -- they've now scored a total of nine runs in Zito's seven starts -- will Zito ever win another game?

Hard to see how that happens. Well, the Giants wanted a Face of the Franchise when they signed Zito just 16 months ago, and now he's perfect: His expressions are the pained, flustered symbol for the entire ballclub.

He's not good enough by himself, everybody else isn't good enough to save him, and there's no fix in sight.

A scary note for Giants fans: After flailing against some Pirates pitcher named Phil Dumatrait, the Giants have been outscored 42-9 in Zito Games. A scarier note: Right now, Giants fans, regardless of salary, would you trade Zito straight up for Dumatrait, whoever he is? Yes, I think you would.

An even scarier note: Even if the Giants wanted or could afford to kick Zito out of the rotation for a long spell, with Noah Lowry and Kevin Correia out indefinitely, they don't have anybody else qualified to take Zito's spot.

Scariest note: The Giants' next-best starting candidate might be Brad Hennessey, who was just shipped to the minors after piling up a 12.94 ERA in 11 relief appearances.

So! It's Zito. It has to be Zito. The Giants have to defend him, insulate him, coddle him, motivate him ... and accept that Zito is their curse and their reality show.

They're not escaping him now, thank goodness.

Contact Tim Kawakami at tkawakami@mercurynews.com.