At 54-years-old Matt Kratoville has no plans or desires to die any time soon, but when he does his burial costs will be covered thanks to a contest he entered through the San Rafael Pacifics baseball team.
Friday was "Funeral Night" at the San Rafael Pacifics game and they gave away a free cremation or casket to one lucky winner courtesy of Mount Tamalpais Mortuary and Cemetery. The catch? To be entered into the contest, people had to write and submit their own obituaries for judging.
Kratoville, of Novato, is a die-hard baseball fan and attends as many San Rafael Pacifics games as he can. After hearing about the promotion, he was intrigued and began drafting his obituary.
"Initially I was going to write 'Here lies Matt, who froze to death at Candlestick Park watching the San Francisco Giants,'" Kratoville said.
But with some input from his sister, Courtney Flavin, the two crafted a poem paying tribute to the San Rafael Pacifics team and his love of baseball.
"There was once a fellow named Matt / A fan from his toes to his hat / To be very specific / His team was Pacifics / He thought anyone else was a rat / He was hit on the head by a foul / He was fanned by a fan with a towel / But he died the next day / And was buried away / With a smile on his face, not a scowl / The day of the playoffs it came / Matt's absence was really a shame / But he rose from the dead / With a flourish, he said, / 'I just couldn't miss the big game!'"
Kratoville's entry not only won him a free burial, valued at $1,700 to $3,000, but he also got to get his picture taken with the grim reaper and San Rafael Pacifics mascot Sir Francis the Drake. He said the game was a blast and loves having a minor league baseball team in Marin County.
Flavin said she couldn't believe their collaborative entry was selected.
"It was a big surprise that it actually won and it has just made his day," she said.
Kratoville doesn't want to cash in any time soon on his winnings, but he does have an idea of how he'd like his remains to be handled.
"I suppose cremation would be the route. That way I wouldn't take up hardly any space at the cemetery," he said.
Contact Megan Hansen via email at firstname.lastname@example.org or via Twitter at http://twitter.com/hansenmegan. Follow her blog at http://blogs.marinij.com/bureaucratsandbaking. ------ (c)2013 The Marin Independent Journal (Novato, Calif.) Visit The Marin Independent Journal (Novato, Calif.) at www.marinij.com