If Miley Cyrus and Sinead O'Connor don't tour together, or record a duet, or simply brawl in a pay-per-view showdown, then there's a whole bunch of professional promoters out there who aren't doing their jobs.

O'Connor has written a fourth open letter to Cyrus on her blog, slamming the 20-year-old tongue-wagging, rump-shaking singer for "stigmatizing mental illness" and asking her to apologize for her actions, according to E! News.

For those following along at home, this all started last week, when O'Connor criticized Cyrus -- who modeled part of her new "Wrecking Ball" video on O'Connor's "Nothing Compares 2 U" video -- for supposedly allowing herself to be overly-sexualized during recent performances. She warned Cyrus to watch out for record company executives who don't really care about her and said she should get by on her talent instead of licking sledgehammers in videos and whatnot.

Cyrus responded on Twitter, alluding to O'Connor's two-year-old tweets in which she reflected on her mental illness. Then Cyrus compared her to Amanda Bynes, who is currently in rehab after spending many weeks in a mental health facility.

Naturally, O'Connor didn't like that and sent another open letter, saying Cyrus was "anti-female" and "(expletive) stupid," to which Cyrus tweeted "Sinead. I don't have time to write you an open letter cause I'm hosting & performing on SNL this week. So if you'd like to meet up and talk lemme know in your next letter. :)"

Of course, O'Connor wrote a third letter to the performer, telling Miley she has "no interest in meeting" her while ordering the singer to apologize to her, Bynes and others with mental health issues. "When you end up in the psych ward or rehab I'll be happy to visit you.. and would not lower myself to mock you," she wrote.

Well ... that's kind of nice of her.

Cyrus then went on the "Today" show on Monday, and was asked about the situation.

"I think she's an incredible artist, I think she's an awesome songwriter, and I was really inspired by her for my "Wrecking Ball" video, which was what started the whole thing," Cyrus told Matt Lauer. "I don't know how someone can start a fight with somebody who said, 'Hey, I really respect you. And I really love what you what you did.' 'You know what? You suck! I don't like you!' That was kind of crazy. But as I said, I'm a big fan of hers, so it doesn't really matter."

She did. She used the word "crazy." She really did.

O'Connor's most recent letter says Cyrus has caused people to urge O'Connor to kill herself.

"My problem with you stems from your response to my first letter," she continued. "Until you exposed me (and Amanda Bynes) to abuse on the grounds of my having sought help (extremely coherently) to save my life, when experiencing suicidal compulsion as a side effect of a medication called Tegretol, I had no problem with you whatsoever."

This is getting exhausting.

"I would very much like you please to apologize to myself and Amanda Bynes for having perpetuated abuse of both of us on the grounds that Amanda has had 'mental health issues' and that I experienced suicidal compulsion and was open about seeking help in order to save my life," she continued. "This should also involve an apology to all sufferers of mental health difficulties and all those who have had experience of suicidal feelings or who have been affected by suicide."

"As a result of what you did I have had numerous communications from people urging me to commit suicide," she wrote. "Not to mention I have been the subject of literally thousands of abusive articles and or comments left after articles, which state that I and therefore all perceived mentally ill people, should be bullied and be invalidated. Luckily I am a strong person. And I have four children whose lives would be destroyed if I were to buckle under the abuse you set me up for."

Wait ... didn't O'Connor start this?

To summarize the rest, she noted that Cyrus is probably unaware of the effects of her words, and O'Connor doesn't want to feud. Which, of course, is why she's done nothing for a week but write about how stupid Miley Cyrus is. Then, she ripped the media.

Wait ... what? What did we do?

Anyway, because my life must be barren, you can count on me to bring you the next update in this exciting drama as soon as it happens. Unless this drives me into retirement first.

Contact Tony Hicks at Facebook.com/BayAreaNewsGroup.TonyHicks or Twitter.com/insertfoot.