Today's Justin Bieber crime report includes a positive drug test and new Canadian assault charges.

Bieber's toxicology report from his DUI arrest in Miami Beach two weeks ago shows he tested positive for marijuana and prescription medication, according to TMZ.

Have they considered that maybe the poor kid has glaucoma?

According to the report -- which wasn't officially released but obtained by TMZ nonetheless -- Bieber had a urine test after his arrest on suspicion of drag racing and driving under the influence on Jan. 23. The website said the test came back positive for THC and Alprazolam, which is a key ingredient prescription in the anti-anxiety medication Xanax.

But, to be fair, the report also said Bieber tested negative for cocaine, opiates, meth and other drugs. So he's got that going for him.

According to TMZ, the report is consistent with the police report, which allegedly states Bieber threw his mom under the bus and said she gave him the pills. Bieber also reportedly told police he had been smoking pot in his recording studio all night long.

Bieber has pleaded not guilty to the charges.

Speaking of Justin Bieber and charges ... news broke late Wednesday that he was charged with assault in Toronto because he allegedly bashed a limo driver in the back of the head, TMZ said.

I don't think we can explain that one away with Glaucoma.


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Toronto police released new details of the Dec. 30 incident. Apparently, a limo driver picked up six passengers -- including Bieber -- around 2:50 a.m. Some sort of fight broke out between the driver and "one of the passengers."

How gangsta!

The passenger was allegedly Bieber, who hit the limo driver in the back of the head "several times" during the fight. When the driver stopped to call police, Bieber fled.

His mom must have run out of Xanax that night.

Bieber turned himself in Wednesday night to face the assault charge. Bieber's lawyer, Howard Weitzman, says he expects this will be treated as a low-level crime -- the equivalent of a misdemeanor is the U.S. Weitzman said, "Our position is Mr. Bieber is innocent."

Of course, it is.

And in news that should surprise no one, Toronto's crack-puffing Mayor Rob Ford called into the Washington, D.C.-based radio show "The Sports Junkies," whose hosts labeled Bieber as "Canada's worst export." He asked them to put it all in perspective by remembering when they were Bieber's age.

Like Rob Ford remembers being 19.

"He's a young guy, 19 years old. I wish I was as successful as he was," Ford said, who added he's never met the singer and is not a fan of his music.

Ford's endorsement carries lots of weight, especially since -- according to Time magazine -- he was recently accused of trying to keep his sister's ex-boyfriend quiet about his past drug use by having him beaten in jail.

I wish I could make this stuff up. I'd be living in a way bigger house.

Last November, Ford admitted to smoking crack cocaine in a "drunken stupor" -- after long-denying the reports -- when a video showing the act surfaced.

Contact Tony Hicks at Facebook.com/BayAreaNewsGroup.TonyHicks or Twitter.com/insertfoot.