A tisket, a tasket
Don't put a real live bunny in your Easter basket. That's the refrain from the House Rabbit Society in Richmond, where they love Peter Cottontail and all his friends and relatives, so they don't want spur-of-the-season purchases of baby rabbits ending up in animal shelters or abandoned in a local park post-holiday. Same concept applies to ducklings and chicks as well.
Rabbits can be great pets, but they're surprisingly high-maintenance. So for Easter, Margo DeMello at the society (www.rabbit.org) encourages support of the Make Mine Chocolate campaign, which, for me anyway, would not be a problem. Chocolate bunnies are naturally better because for one, well, they're chocolate. And two, "kids can enjoy them for 10 minutes, and they won't have to take care of them for the next 10 years," DeMello says.
True. Unless they're the chocolate rabbit that ate Manhattan! According to Guinness World Records, the largest choco bunny was 12 feet high, tipped the scales at 6,635 pounds, 91 ounces, and was sculpted in South Africa in March 2010. It's tough to wrap one's mind, much less one's mouth, around the concept.
Prom season is near, and what could make a teen date night more special than the latest thing in formal prom-night accouterments -- a chicken corsage. Yes, for a limited time, KFC is offering $20 floral wrist corsages with a coupon for a piece of the Colonel's famous fried chicken surrounded by delicate baby's breath. Apparently, this is for real. The website says: "This KFC drumstick corsage is the Secret Recipe to making sure this year's dance will be one you both remember."
Also memorable might be the pack of wild dogs trailing your date to the dance. If nothing else, the promo video is pretty funny (www.kfc.com/corsage). As one Pleasanton mom put it, "Maybe the teens will be grossed out by the smell of congealing chicken fat and will lose any interest in making out or having sex."
Love and marriage ...
If a deep-fried corsage does not serve as a deterrent, a side dish of buns in the oven might ensue. If so, prospective parents might consider not choosing these bad baby names, compiled by eBabyNames.com from Social Security data on actual names bestowed on actual babies during the past 15 actual years. The list includes Nimrod, Moo, Lucifer, Zamzam, Dzyre, Jealousy, Kyller and Mc.
But the No. 1 worst name is -- Zzyzx. Truly not the most self-esteem-inspiring choice for a child, seeing as how Zzyzx is also a Southern California town, its name allegedly chosen to bring up the rear alphabetically and therefore be known as "the last place on Earth."
Maybe naming your kid Disneyland, aka "the happiest place on Earth," would be better.
-- Angela Hill