Nicole Kidman's new film "Grace of Monaco" reportedly bombed Wednesday night in its premiere at the Cannes International Film Festival, according to Newser.com.

That's weird ... because movies trying to characterize the lives of dead European princesses of the 20th Century starring well-known actresses usually do so well.

The Guardian's Peter Bradshaw called the biopic "a breathtaking catastrophe ... a film so awe-inspiringly wooden that it is basically a fire-risk," and compared it to "a 104-minute Chanel ad, only without the subtlety and depth."

Wow ... so wooden it's a fire risk. Hold on a second while I write that one down to use later ...

But that's only one man's opinion, right? Surely the reviews got better.

A separate Guardian article rounded up similar reviews and wondered, "Is there a critic who liked it?"

Oh, now come on. That's the same newspaper. They must be biased ... right?

Fox News' headline read, "Grace of Monaco called a great comedy, which is bad, because it's a drama." The story reported there were "many audible laughs."

Well ... it's Fox. Maybe Princess Grace was a Democrat.

The Los Angeles Times reportedly called the premiere itself "awkward," thanks to a disagreement between the French filmmakers and the Weinstein Co., which is distributing the film in the US. Harvey Weinstein reportedly doesn't like the French cut of the movie, which is what screened at Cannes, so he didn't show up.


Advertisement

The Times also said, "Cannes opening-night films tend to generate standing ovations of at least five or six minutes, but the clapping after this one was mostly polite, and it was over after a brief two."

After seeing previews, Princess Grace's children called the movie a "farce," according to USA Today.

But at least Kidman likes it. She told the BBC she doesn't regret the role.

That's some endorsement.

Contact Tony Hicks at Facebook.com/BayAreaNewsGroup.TonyHicks or Twitter.com/insertfoot.