'Fair' thee well

If it's Memorial Day, it must be nearly county fair season. And the friendly folks at the 80th annual San Mateo County Fair (June 7-15) have sent advance word about this year's new attractions. One item stands out: "NEW -- Healthy Food Fare." Seems they'll be offering steamed artichokes, veggie burritos and salads.

No, no, no! Sorry, salad vendors. I'm sure you mean well, but don't you know we go to the fair to get away from that stuff? A county fair is a place of food freedom where diet is a four-letter word and one step through the entry turnstiles erases all awareness of kale and quinoa and we're drawn by sheer moth-flame instinct to funnel cakes doused with enough whipped cream to sculpt the Statue of Liberty. It's the American way.

Fortunately, amid pig races and concerts by Evolution: "The Ultimate Tribute to Journey," you can still find Big Bubba's Bad BBQ and Fat Fanny's Funnel Cakes, proving that gluttony is still alive, as is alliteration.

Take a hike

OK, back to reality. Post fair-food consumption, you're gonna need to inject kale intravenously and get off your duff. Do the latter on Mount Diablo as volunteers will lead two free hikes at 10 a.m. and noon on June 14, exploring the landscape as it springs back to life after September's Morgan Fire. Hike tours are free, but admission to the park is $10 per car. Reservations are required; www.mdia.org.

Contact Angela Hill at ahill@bayareanewsgroup.com, or follow her on Twitter @giveemhill.