Too many sports, too much news, not enough paragraphs ... With their preposterous first-place cushion in the National League West standings, the Giants didn't need to win Thursday afternoon at AT&T Park. But preventing a sweep by the N.L. East-leading Washington Nationals did save the stuffed elk head in Giants manager Bruce Bochy's office from a horrible fate. Bochy has nicknamed the elk head "Bullwinkle" and before the game had promised: "If we lose, Bullwinkle gets sacrificed." I'm not sure how you sacrifice an already-stuffed dead elk head. But it can't be any tougher than beating Giants starter Tim Hudson at home. He is 5-0 at AT&T Park and in Thursday's 7-1 victory over the hot-hitting Nationals lowered his season ERA from 1.97 to 1.81. Just send Hudson his ticket to Minnesota for the All-Star game right now. Have to confess, I'm rooting for the Giants to call up minor league second base prospect Joe Panik from Fresno, just so this newspaper can write the headline: "Panik Time For Giants!" Dates to circle on your summer calendar: July 7-8-9-10. Giants play the A's twice at the Coliseum, twice at AT&T Park. My new excuse when I'm late: "Honey, I swear, I was almost home, but Yoenis Cespedes threw me out." No surprise that the Colin Kaepernick investigation yielded no charges filed. I predicted as much in this space when the bizarre incident was reported involving a woman in a Miami hotel suite. I noted that two years ago, wide receiver Michael Crabtree had been involved in a San Francisco hotel room incident with a woman that eventually led to no charges. It's a lesson learned about jumping to conclusions, for the media and everyone else. However, my guess is that Kaepernick also learned a lesson from the experience. If you peruse the investigation details, Kaepernick's attorney told detectives that the 49ers quarterback had met the woman in Atlanta last year where they'd had a very brief fling. She later claimed (falsely) to be pregnant and then took a bus to Miami where she met up with Kaepernick and former 49ers teammate Ricardo Lockette at the hotel and engaged in very troubling behavior.
Kaepernick should take it as a perfect tutorial about being careful in terms of, ahem, intermingling with people who seek him out only because he's a big NFL star. With his rich new contract, there are going to be even more of those types, not fewer. You didn't ask, but I'm picking Argentina in the World Cup. There's too much pressure for the home side of Brazil. Of course, if the Selecao keep getting the favorable officials calls they received in Thursday's opener, then you can start booking reservations to watch the riots from opposing fans in a few weeks. Yes, the USA national team's World Cup uniforms do look rather dorky. The good news is, we won't have to look at them very long. My over-under on number of victories in Brazil is one-half. Hey, just going by what coach Jurgen Klinsmann says. Sharks captain Joe Thornton's status as a future member of the team may or may not be iffy. There are murmurs about trades, but he does have that no-movement clause in his contract. And it seemed kind of a silly the other day when Thornton's agent and brother, John, said Thornton would consider leaving San Jose only if fans decide they don't support him. Begging for applause -- or supportive social media posts -- is never a good look for anyone in any sport. Besides, in the days of Twitter and Facebook, the Thornton move could backfire. Did you notice the remarks of Los Angeles Kings defenseman Drew Doughty this week? Doughty was asked about how his team rallied from a 3-0 deficit in the first-round series against the Sharks. Doughty claimed the Kings knew they were in good shape as soon as they won Game 4, saying: "You could see it in their eyes and their team and their captains and their leaders that they were worried about us coming back." Which means I now have this picture of Doughty tweeting out a photo of himself holding up a sign that says: "Stay In San Jose, Joe!" Whew. I thought I saw a grass fire along Interstate 280 on my way home from the game. False alarm. It was just a herd of elk sacrificing Bruce Bochy bobbleheads.
Read Mark Purdy's blog at blogs.mercurynews.com/purdy. Contact him at email@example.com. Follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/MercPurdy.