Font ResizeIt's no wonder the festival takes place in Oakland, which has more lesbian couple households per capita than San Francisco, according to the 2000 U.S. Census.
While one associates lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender parades with San Francisco, during the last few decades same-sex couples, particularly lesbian couples, have been quietly moving to Oakland because of affordability and space issues.
And in addition to couples, individuals and friends, there will be children.
Maya Scott-Chung, 40, of Oakland, says she plans on bringing her nearly 2-year-old daughter, Luna, to the march and festival.
Maya, a lesbian of Irish and Scottish descent, said it's important to speak out about today's social, cultural and political challenges around same-sex marriage.
"Our family right now is at the center of this national debate around human and civil rights," she said, adding many couples she knows are hesitant to talk to the media.
Maya met partner MeiBeck, 45, a San Francisco firefighter, 10 years ago. MeiBeck works 24-hour shifts, and is trying to get time off to attend the paradeSaturday.
Their family story is unique, but not that uncommon.
They are what they call a part of the "gayby boom," a generation in the last two decades of same-sex
Maya said she has always known she wanted to give birth and they both wanted to be parents, so their search for a donor-dad began.
"It was donor-dating," said Maya half-jokingly.
Eventually, they found Daniel Bao, who identifies himself as gay and lives in Alameda. They call him "duncle," a combination of "donor" and "uncle."
Their family is also what they call "tricultural" for being Chinese, Latino — MeiBeck is Chinese and Mexican American — and white.
When Maya was 3-months pregnant with Luna, the couple was swept up in the larger political landscape of the time.
In February 2004, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom and other city and county officials issued marriage licenses to same-sex couples at City Hall.
Maya recalls that on Friday the thirteenth, they had their first ultrasound scheduled — but the marriage ceremony was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity so they rescheduled the doctor's appointment.
On Oct. 4, 2004, Maya gave birth to Luna in their home as MeiBeck helped with the delivery.
And right around Luna's first birthday, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenneger vetoed a bill that would have allowed same-sex marriages.
To protect their families legally, they had to go through a lot. Because Maya is Luna's birth mother, MeiBeck had to legally adopt Luna. Same-sex adoptions are sanctioned in California, but not in some other states.
MeiBeck recalls being scrutinized by a social worker, who visited her at home.
"We didn't know what she was looking for," she said. "At any point, she could have prevented the adoption. That was very nerve-wracking."
Bao, the sperm-donor, also had to sign away any parenting rights.
"Everyone is family by love," explained Maya, who added that some members are also family by law or blood. "It's a very complicated picture."
The couple said they are happy with the support they've received from their families, and from such groups as Asian & Pacific Islander Family Pride, founded by Fremont parent Belinda Dronkers-Laureta.
Dronkers-Laureta said she became involved after her son came out in the 1990s.
"I didn't know anything about gay issues, gay people, or anything about the community," she said. She said it took her two years to come to an understanding, and the whole time she directed questions at her son.
"That's how it's been for most Asian families I've connected with," she said.
Dronkers-Laureta, who is Filipina, said she realized the need for a network of families of LGBT children. Today, she is the volunteer executive director of API Family Pride, a nonprofit led by straight allies.
Both MeiBeck and Maya reflect on their parents' support as they each also had to come out of the closet to the rest of the family and to their community.
After Luna was born, MeiBeck's mother, who is straight, came out to friends and acquaintances about her daughter. This summer at the annual API Family Pride banquet in Oakland, the couple honored her mother and Bao's mother for their support. A year ago, they honored Maya's mother.
The couple also co-founded a local support group called "Baby Buds" two years ago, which now includes 20 families and 15 children. It's a support group that meets every Sunday for potluck.
Their family remains intact although their marriage was annulled in August 2004 after the California Supreme Court ruled Newsom overstepped his bounds by issuing the same-sex marriage licenses.
And potential changes in the law may force them yet again to redefine themselves — legally, at least.
Last month, a California appeals court heard arguments in Woo v. Lockyer, in which a lower court ruled that the state's ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional. The appeals court decision is pending.
Until then, couples like Maya and MeiBeck are waiting anxiously.
The 5th Annual Sistahs Steppin' in Pride East Bay Dyke March and Festival at Lake Merritt, gathering at the pillars between Lakeshore and Grand avenues. March begins at noon, festival from 1 to 6 p.m. at Snow Park near 19th and Harrison streets. For more information, visit http://www.sistahssteppin.org.
Contact Momo Chang at mchang@angnewspapers.com.
