Yo Mother Goose

Seems the newest trend in toddler gear is T-shirts that riff on Mother Goose. Crib Rock's latest offerings are baby-sized tees purporting to hail from Miss Muffet's "Curds and Whey Tour," the Three Blind Mice and their "Carving Knife Tour," and Mary Mary of Quite Contrary fame, whose shirt sports the tagline, "Don't cha wish your Gardener was hot like me?" Ahem.

We've searched the catalog but so far, it's a no go for Jack Sprat and his Phat tour.

Olympic glory

The Olympics are just a few short weeks away, and Beijing officials just released a list of officially sanctioned spectator rules. We won't be in Beijing for the actual games, but we figured we'd better check the guidelines to make sure we don't violate any of them at home.

Uh-oh. Seems we're not supposed to wave flags representing non-participatory countries — but virtual worlds are OK, right? — or hoist banners touting politics, religion or environmental protection of any kind. And nudity, boozing and gambling are right out. Shoot. We're going to have to cancel our Nude Greenpeace Poker Fans for Olympic Glory party.

Got pens?

And finally, looks like PhRMA, the pharmaceutical trade organization, is finally clamping down on its rampant drug advertising. Big Pharm just told its members, who spend

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$30 billion a year on marketing, to stop giving doctors "non-educational" gifts such as pens, mugs and note pads emblazoned with drug logos. Seems these gifts, which are unaccompanied by lavish banquets, tropical junkets and prime time TV ads, give the appearance of "an unprofessional relationship."

Hey, we always knew doctors were an easily swayed bunch. When we had strep throat, we demanded a prescription for Lunesta or Levitra — the TV ad had happy people, so we knew that was the drug for us. But the doc looked at his notepad and prescribed antibiotics instead. We blame the notepad.

— Jackie Burrell

Spin Cycle takes a quirky view of daily news. Send comments to jburrell@bayareanewsgroup.com.